kimberley's.

tonsoflove:

I know how much you’ve been through before. I know kung gano kasakit, kung gano ka nahirapan, kung gano ka umiyak, at kung gano ka naging matatag. Dati ka ng nagpakatanga sa isang lalaking wala ng ginawa kundi ang sakatan at paiyakin ka, wala na akong naririnig na kwento kundi puro sama ng loob ang nagagawa sayo. Alam ko din kung gaano ka nahirapan para pakawalan sya kasi nga, mahal mo e. Pero dumating yung time na napagod ka. Oo, tama yung ginawa mo, kasi masyado ka ng nasaktan and he breaks your heart every time you’re with him. Hanggang sa nahirapan ka na din magtiwala dahil baka masaktan ka lang ulit. 

Pero dumating yung taong magpapabago sa perspective mo, dumating sya para gamutin yung sugat, para buo-in ka ulit at punan yung nawala sayo. Give him a chance, Kim. Open your heart. Alam kong hindi ko pa sya nakikita or namimeet personally pero nasasabi ko to sayo ngayon kasi, ngayon lang kita nakita ulit na ganyan kasaya. I love you Kim, FML loves you. Hindi na namin hahayaang masaktan ka ulit and we will support you no matter what! I’m really happy for you right now. Sana tuloy tuloy na yan. Stay happy! :”>

MICA COMIA! I FUCKING LOVE YOU!! We were named the “martyrs” sa FML. HAHA! Oh myyy. I remember the times when you were crying after getting drunk. I remember feeling the same way. I remember when liquor used to be our superhero. But now, after everything, I’m so glad we can see things clearer. Pareho natin iniisip na ipaglaban pa yung mga katangahan natin kasi mahal natin sila. Lagi din sinasabi satin ng FML na we deserve better pero we ignore everything because we were convinced that we would get what we wanted if we fought for it. But the problem was, WE WERE THE ONLY ONES FIGHTING. They weren’t fighting for us. How sad. Pero at least diba, we’ve finally realized that being happy is a choice and staying depressed is just an option.

FML talaga ang laging nandiyan for me/us. You guys all know what’s good for me. And since I can see naman that you’re happy and you approve of what’s going on with my life, then I can really relax now.

I LOVE YOU TALAGAAAA. You being happy (finally) makes me so much more happier! Let’s be stronger na, yes? Ich liebe dich Mica! :*

nocturnalbeing:

Sinabi ko naman na sa’yo noon palang diba? Na hinding hindi ako papasok sa isang sitwasyon kung hindi ko naman ito gusto ng todo todo. Hindi naman ako papasok dito kung hindi ko pinag-isipan at pinagnilayan talaga, na ‘yun nga, na gusto talaga kita. Kung sa tingin mo nadadala lang ako sa ngayon ng mga pangyayari, kung sa tingin mo panakip butas ka lang, kung sa tingin mo ngayon lang ako ganito - think again. Sa tingin mo ba makapagpapatuloy ako sa kinatatayuan at sitwasyon natin ngayon kung hindi ako ganito kaseryoso? Magtiyatiyaga at magpapatuloy pa ba akong patunayan sa’yo ‘tong nararamdaman ko kung hindi ako ganito ka sigurado?

Pareho naman nating gusto ‘to. Pareho nating gusto to be together in the end. We’re just taking things slow at ayaw nating dumausdos at masaya tayo dito. If you’re seeking for assurance since walang kasiguraduhan itong namamagitan, well I’ve already given that to you since day 1. You’re happy, we’re happy -  the only difference is that I’m twice as happy as you are. That’s why I wanted to maintain this ‘till the end.

Pareho tayo ng pinanggalingan. Pareho tayong natrauma. Pareho tayong sugatan sa mga nangyari sa atin sa nakaraan. Pareho nating iniisip na lahat ng tao sa paligid ay pawang mga manloloko’t sa una o sa salita lamang magaling. Pareho tayong takot na pati na sa mismong sitwasyon nati’y hindi lubos na mapagkatwilaan.

Pero naisip ko, sino pa ba ang tatayo para sa atin bukod sa’ting dalawa? Walang  ng iba, diba? Kaya’t napagisip-isip ko na ako na mismo ang mauna’t magbaba ng takot at alinlangan at magsisilbing kapitan. Kapitan sa mga pagkakataong kinakailangan mo ng seguridad at makakapitan. Tatayo sa tabi mo’t magsisilbing sandalan. Isinugal ko na lamang ang aking sarili para sa ating ikabubuti. Pareho naman nating gusto ‘to, hindi ba? At alam kong hindi ako nag-iisa.

If faithfulness, loyalty, honesty and integrity or whatever It is, are what you seek, walang problema. Sinimulan ko naman nang i-alay ang mga aspetong ‘yan sa’yo ng walang alinlangan. Hinding hindi naman akong nag-entertain ng ibang babae, diba? Sobrang transparent ko rin naman sa’yo sa mga bagay na ginagawa ko. Alam ko rin naman ang limitasyon ko’t nagpapakatotoo sa’yo ng buong puso.

Pero kung hanggang ngayo’y naghihinala ka pa rin, kapit ka lang. At hayaan mong patunayan ko sa’yo ang lahat lahat. Hinding hindi ka mag-iisa’t sabay tayong susulong. Now slowly break down those walls and trust me. And I’ll surely bring you to something called infinity.

Don’t worry.

You’re never alone, never again…

“Pareho naman nating gusto ‘to. Pareho nating gusto to be together in the end” - my own words.

Last night on the phone, I heard you call me by my first name for the 3rd time, but the way it was said was so different. It was like, I was talking to a completely different Saito. I definitely saw a different side of you.

I remember you saying “Hindi ka naman bagay, or something, na minamadali eh”. I really appreciate you being able to wait like that, for being the stronger one and for not giving up on me. Ikaw lang talaga ang nakakaintindi sakin ng ganito. Ikaw lang ang willing na makinig sakin kapag nagdadrama ako o kapag sobrang naiinis na ako ng walang dahilan. Alam mo na kaagad kapag may pagbabago sa mood ko without me even having to tell you.

You made a lot of promises last night and guess what, I have faith in you. Alam kong matutupad mo yung mga promises mo. At siyempre, may mga promises din ako. I promised to do my part. Papatunayan ko sayo na hindi ka band-aid. PLEASE, wag mo na rin isipin na I’m using you to cushion all the pain. Like I said, it’s been a constant struggle getting out of my misery and sakto lang talaga na nakilala kita when it all ended. I’d really like to think na everything happened so that I could meet you. At the right time, right place, right circumstance.

I know you don’t agree with me when I talk about fate but please believe that one day magiging okay din lahat not because “fate” wanted it that way, but because we both worked for it. There will be no you or me, only us. Walang iwanan, diba? One day, we won’t even remember what unhappy feels like.

There will come a time when love will not break our hearts, but dismiss our fears. :) Thank you, Saito, for being exactly what I need.